Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
