I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The feeling are messing with the penis
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
