??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you mean i was at the winter classic?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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