i used baking grease as lip gloss
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize