Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
