And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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