her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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