It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
