I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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