I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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