Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
