Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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