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it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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