At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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