Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
