I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Its about making memories worth repressing
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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