Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
