Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
