She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
