the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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