I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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