weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
