You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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