omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize