yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
