I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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