Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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