you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
