I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
