No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Randomize
