you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
