Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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