I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
