i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
