I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
