Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize