UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
