I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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