theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
