He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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