roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize