the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
