Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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