In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
