she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
