I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
