There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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