it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
PANTIES FOUND
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