wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
