What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
