i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
