I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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