Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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