Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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