Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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