I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
