is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
