I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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