In the future we'll all be gay
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
try to milk me bitch
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