It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
