the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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