I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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