am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
