Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize