i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
