Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
