To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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