So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
