so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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