the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
