somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Small penises have feelings too.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
