Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
