I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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