What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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