I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
