If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
